Don't tell Always Alice........

I belong to Long Star State Knitters, a great yahoo group of Texas knitters. You join this group and you have sooooo much fun. It feels like being adopted into a great big family...I mean HUGE! And everyone has such huge hearts of gold. Your first day of lurking will show you how much everyone cares about each other....encouraging....enabling....sharing hurts and fears and the loving responses..............it just warms your heart.

Then..............................................................................................................................................there's Alice.................................................................................................................................Always Alice as she calls herself (no, I don't know why)................................................................................loving, big hearted, FUNNY, Always Alice. ALICE OF THE:

"Ok, it's time for a FO update. You shared what you are working on, now own up..................where do those OTN things stand???? Hum, Hum, Hum..........own up."

Tongue in cheek of course and you gotta love her, bless her heart. I'd never get anything done if I didn't know AA was going to check in soon with 'Report'.

So this post is all about my reading a post from my For_The_Love_OF_Socks group. They were talking about SSS and someone wrote in "What is SSS?" For those of you who knit socks, you know this person hasn't been knitting socks for long, lol. Those who think knitting socks is silly as long as there is WALMART won't understand but I'll tell you anyway. Knitting socks is like eating chocolate Hershey's kisses, or Lay's potato chips........................you can't just do one (well, sort of, but let me explain).

Knitting socks is soooo addicting. The fun of choosing the yarn and the excitement, really excitement, of how it looks knitting that stockinette swatch for gauge, then choosing the perfect pattern to show off the yarn...........aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh, better than sex (well, maybe not). Knitting that first sock is such a pleasure.

Now the second sock, that's a problem! I don't know why really. Socks are small, don't take that long, portable so good for 'waiting for soccer practice to be over' or 'I just love sitting in the doctor's office!' times. I think it is just because sock knitting also has another problem. Socks only take one 100 g ball for a pair of average socks and the variety of sock yarn and colorways out there is astonishing. Sock knitting is getting so popular that the yarn companies are constantly expanding their NEW lines knowing we just can't resist seeing what 'that yarn will look like knitted' since I only need one ball and I can always afford to spend that much!!! (Famous last words, just ask my daughters....8(.......) Ah hum, anyway...............so you finish the first sock and by then (2 days for me) you have already seen someone's sock they knit with THAT yarn in THAT pattern and you think you can JUST cast on and knit a little..........for fun..............and a little more to see what the heel will look best in....sl1, k1 ribbed heel or maybe the partridge (my fav). And once that is done........will you are almost finished.

Sigh....

That is why I say "Don't tell Always Alice! Please...."

I know she would just smile and be encouraging........more like an adoring favorite aunt than good 'ole Mom but if Alice knew that I am the Queen of SSS, oh, heaven help me! I might have to start on those 7......or 9............well, would you believe 12?............na, me either..............I stopped looking at 15!!! first socks started and 9 single socks (yes, those completed socks in the photos are all singles except for one) grieving for a mate. (Hey, I haven't had a mate for 20 years...so pull up your big girl panties..oh, wait a minute! That's what my friend Kathie keeps saying..........oh, where was I?)

I crammed as many of the unfinished first socks onto the scanner as I could. (Forgive me Father for I have sinned....). And I did just make a pair for a swap, does that count? no.........................

Well, I am not moving to Tyler for another 3 months so in between sorting and packing I will finish socks.

Promise......just don't tell Always Alice..................

Just incase!

Laters,

Barb

PS. You know I luv ya, AA!

WHIBSIB Jealously...........

I belong to the Lone Star State Knitters Group. It is a really fun group that shares patterns and life in Texas. All you have to do to join is to live in Texas while a member. They are the nicest, kindest group of ladies with hearts as big as Texas. It doesn't take long to feel like you are part of a big caring family. Groups meet in the various towns once a week to knit and bitch! Each new baby, child or grandchild of a member, gets squares knitted by any member who wants and can then make a LSSK's baby blanket (patterns in group files). There are all kinds of contests with 'knitty' prizes, you can knit preemie items and send them to Jennifer who forwards them to our chosen hospital..........the list just goes on and on. Posts are sooooooooo entertaining!

Only one problem.....well, for me anyway. This weekend the group is having their WHIBSIB Knitting Sleepover.............I'm going to be sneaky and say if you want to know what WHIBSIB means you have to join the group!!!!! hehe............
I want sooo much to go. And I can't....yet.... It isn't the money.

(dragging out my soap-box and swallowing my pride)........................

It is just really hard for me to do things outside of my home because of post traumatic stress disorder, double depressive disorder and anxiety disorder. I'm a lot better than I was 15 yrs ago and have learned so many tools to use from the greatest therapist in the world, Johnnie Bonner (who is now retired from the Dallas VA Medical Center). She was the first person EVER to be able to really reach me and make a difference in my life. The only answer I have ever been able to come up with for why it worked was that she was willing to let me see that she really cared about me. If you've ever talked to someone, friend or therapist, and felt they were listening but they was 'holding back' for whatever reason (not understanding, professional style, etc..), then you will understand what I mean. She wasn't afraid to 'feel' what I was telling her and really shocked me every time what I was saying made her cry. It is still hard to believe anyone would really 'care' like that for me...little 'ole me! For years after I divorced and the girls were grown (actually it started when my youngest was a junior in high school, so sorry Sunshine), I spent most of my time laying in bed being depressed and crying on and off. In 1993, the day came when I needed to go get the groceries and I couldn't leave the house.

I don't have group or individual therapy anymore and can pretty much live my life but it is still hard to take that step and leave the house. Most things will eventually get done, whatever it is that needs me to leave, just might take a few hours or days to get going, lol.

Knitting has been a life saver for me. I have been knitting hats for preemies for several years, knitting for Dulaan until it stopped a few years ago, and knitted warm hats for the homeless in Dallas that I would see on the bus or trains. (I don't drive anymore.) That is my contribution to the world. That and connecting with children I see who seem to have an abusive parent (I try and catch their eye, smile and wink to try and get them to smile since that always made me feel 'connected' when I was a child and like someone, somehow knew what I was going through. Got me through some hard years so I try and 'pay it forward' and would encourage YOU to try it also. Even a young child can be suicidal......did you know that......and that smile maybe the one thing that keeps them here.)

OK.....getting down off my soap-box now.

Where was I......oh, yes. Maybe all that helps you understand why I am so jealous of my friends getting together this weekend and I just can't do it yet..........BUT I WILL.

Just you wait and see! I was able to finally stop smoking March 27 this year!!! Almost a month now...hum, wonder if there is a counter out in internet land that would count how many days it is and post to my right column. If you know, leave a comment. That would sure be encouraging.

laters,
Barb